It's Good to Talk

Bob Hoskins

Bob Hoskins famously said that line in the BT adverts he starred in, early in the 90s. And I have to agree with him. I went to a CFS therapy session last week and spent a good half hour crying.

CFS therapy is run by a CFS therapy service in a local hospital. It does not have much funding and there was avery long waiting list. I think it took me nearly a year to get to see my specialist nurse. In that first (or was it the second?) appointment she gave me a very thick booklet full of useful information on understanding CFS, and more importantly, how to get better. I've now started some gradual exercise since I'm feeling stronger these days and my appointment was meant to be structured around that. We normally talk about what I've found difficult and how to deal with it. This time I somehow mentioned something about how I hide feeling tired and achy and the nurse picked up on that. I have been hiding how achy I get because, well quite frankly, I don't want to bore people with it. I just want to get on with it. But, the nurse said by hiding it I'm not helping myself or other people. I'm making life harder. I find it difficult to ask for help, and by covering up I perhaps am pushing people away, or some people will think I'm fine. I'm not giving a health update every five minutes, but I am letting people know if I need to sit down or something.

It makes such a difference to be able to talk to someone who understands the condition, and who knows why I feel a certain way. The only bad thing is that I don't think she agrees with my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and that's a bit of a worry as I've been told that the CFS clinic will deal with it so I don't see too many people. I'm also going to be going to a pain management clinic so hopefully they'll be able to help a bit more with that.